On A Lighter Note

Good morning. Permit me to make you laugh a little this morning.

A man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, “If you take one more step, a brick will fall on your head and kill you.” The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. He was astonished.

He went on, and after a while, he was going to cross the road. Once again, the voice shouted, “Stop, stand still! If you take a step, a car will overrun you and you will die.” The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came racing around the corner, barely missing him.

The man asked, “Who are you?” “I am your guardian angel,” the voice answered. “And where the h_ll were you when I wanted to get married,” the man asked!

Funny, isn’t it? But I cannot help but think, maybe the angel was speaking and he wasn’t listening. YOU WILL SUCCEED!

LET’S DEFINE MEDIOCRITY

What is mediocrity? Have you bothered to ask yourself before? These are my thoughts:

1. Mediocrity is having wishes but no concrete plans.
2. Mediocrity is having plans but no priorities.
3. Mediocrity is being past-possessed and not forward-focused.
4. Mediocrity is reckoning to the past when you should be reaching to your potential.
5. Mediocrity is seeing the opportunity as an obstacle rather than seeing the opportunity in the obstacle.
6. Mediocrity is having acquaintances but no friends.
7. Mediocrity is giving condemnation where you should be giving commendations.
8. Mediocrity is when you emphasize your title against your responsibility.
9. Mediocrity is looking so much like someone else that nobody looks like you!
10. Mediocrity is thinking of nothing to give yet you’re thinking of something to get!
11. Mediocrity is giving excuses when you should be making advances.
12. Mediocrity is planning so much for the wedding day that you overlook planning for the marriage!
13. A mediocre philosophy is “A verse of the Bible a day keeps the devil away!”
14. Mediocrity is seeing the devil at work so much that you’re oblivious of the angels on guard waiting to be deployed.
15. Mediocrity is working when you should be praying and praying when you should be working.
16. Mediocrity is playing when you should pray and praying when you should be playing.
17. A mediocre will look back in regret where he should have looked forward and prepared.

You have more? Let me hear it. Mediocrity, no more, not me! YOU WILL SUCCEED!

12 DAILY REMINDERS FOR 2012

Today, and every day, please be reminded of:
1. The Value of TIME
2. The Success of PERSEVERANCE
3. The Pleasure of WORKING
4. The Dignity of SIMPLICITY
5. The Worth of CHARACTER
6. The Power of KINDNESS
7. The Influence of EXAMPLE
8. The Obligation of DUTY
9. The Wisdom of ECONOMY
10. The Virtue of PATIENCE
11. The Improvement of TALENT
12. The Joy of ORIGINATING

YOU WILL SUCCEED!

15 THINGS TO REMEMBER….EVERYDAY

As we go about our daily businesses we have a tendency to gloss over many things. Today and always, please be reminded of these.

1. If you want your dreams to come true, don’t oversleep. (Proverbs 6: 9-11; 24:30-34)
2. The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention.
3. Of all the things you wear, your expression is most important.
4. The best vitamin for making friends is …B1! (Get that? To make friends, be one!) (Proverbs 18:24a)
5. The 10 commandments are not multiple choice.
6. Minds are like parachutes…they function best only when open.
7. Ideas won’t work unless YOU do.
8. One thing you can’t recycle is wasted time.
9. The heaviest thing to carry is a grudge.
10. Don’t learn safety rules by accident.
11. We lie the loudest when we lie to ourselves. (If you persist, the day will come that you won’t believe yourself anymore!)
12. Jumping to conclusions can be bad exercise.
13. The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime.
14. One thing you give and still keep…is your word.
15. God is always there: loving you and looking out for you!
YOU WILL SUCCEED!

I’M LAUGHING BUT THINKING ABOUT THIS…

Joseph comes up to the Cotonou border on his bicycle. He’s got twolarge bags over his shoulders.

The customs official stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?”

“Garri,” answered Joseph.

The Customs official says, “We’ll just see about that. Get off thebike!” the Customs official takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties themout and finds nothing in them but garri.

He detains Joseph overnight and has the garri analyzed, only to discoverthat there is nothing but pure garri in the bags.

The customs official releases Joseph, puts the garri into new bags,lifts them onto the man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. The customs official asks, “Whathave you got?” “Garri,” Joseph answers.

The customs official does his thorough examination and discovers thatthe bags contain nothing but garri. He gives the garri back to Joseph, andJoseph crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events was repeated every day for the next threeyears. Finally, Joseph doesn’t show up one day and the customs official meetshim in a beer parlour in Cotonou.

“Hey, my friend,” says the customs official, “I know you are smugglingsomething. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about….I can’t sleep. Justbetween you and me, what are you smuggling?”

Joseph sips his beer and says, “Bicycles”!

You would agree with me that this is very funny. (Or maybe you don’t.)But while I’m laughing I can’t help but think.

One, we must learn to THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX. The customs officialshould have known after a while that it is not garri that Joseph was smuggling.And also that contraband does not always have to be in containers. Joseph usedon him what we call a smokescreen, and he didn’t see through it.

Two, LOOK BEYOND THE OBVIOUS.  Whatappears is not always what is. Plain and simple!

Three, WE MUST NOT JUST THINK THROUGH BUT THINK FAST.

So, while we laugh, let’s think. YOU WILL SUCCEED!

LOOSEN UP AND LAUGH A LITTLE!

“A merry heart does good like medicine…” (Proverbs17:22). Good humor is medicinal. I enjoy a good joke any day. A merryheart sure ventilates the brain. Laugh this off with me and enjoy your day.Many blessings.

                                                                                            

Three tortoises, Mick, Tom and Roy, decided to go on a picnic. Mickpacks the picnic basket with drinks and sandwiches. The trouble is the picnicsite is ten miles away so it takes them ten days to get there.

They get there and Mick unpacks the food and drinks and says, “Ok, Roy, give me the bottle opener”. “Ididn’t bring it,” replied Roy. “Ithought you packed it.” Mick gets worried, so he turns to Tom and says, “Did you by any chance bring the bottleopener?” Naturally Tom didn’t bring it. So they’re stuck ten miles fromhome without a bottle opener.

Mick and Tom beg Roy to go back for it. But he refuses as he says theywill eat up all the sandwiches. After two hours and after they have sworn ontheir tortoises’ lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finallyagrees. So, Roy sets off down the road. 20 days had passed and still he isn’tback and Mick and Tom are starving, but a promise is a promise.

Another 5 days and still he isn’t back, but a promise is a promise.Finally they can’t take it any longer so they take out a sandwich each and justas they are about to eat it, Roy pops up from behind a rock and shouts: “I KNEW IT…I’M NOT GOING!”